Monster Pops

Since it’s Halloween and all, I thought I’d thought I tell you a scary story. A story that will turn your hair white, make you leave the lights on at night, and check the closets before you go to bed.

Ok, possible exaggeration…and potentially the only scary behavior exhibited in this story was done by me, but I will leave you to decide for yourself.I made these cake pops for the annual Spooktacular hafla thrown by my amazing belly dance troupe, Al-Bahira. Now, I would like to warn you that when belly dancers do Halloween, we go whole hog. There were zombies roaming the lobby, wicked queens chasing innocent girls through gardens filled with menacing flora, and of course, a delicious array of Halloween-themed goodies for our guests to enjoy.

During my shift working behind the food table, one young lady approached and eyed my cake pops dubiously.

Her: “What are those?”

Me (smiling welcomingly): “They’re monster pops. You know, cake pops. Would you like one?”

Her: “They’re weird.”

Me (welcoming smile gone, frosty glare in its place): “It’s Halloween.”

Her (as she walks off with a cake pop): “I guess.”

And then the cake pop came to life and swallowed her whole. MWAHAHA! Ok, not really, but it was positively frighting how little regard she held for the cake pop! Doesn’t she know cake pops are the new cupcake? If given the choice between a lollipop and a piece of cake, which will be picked more often? Can’t decide? YOU DON’T HAVE TO! That’s the beauty of a cake pop.

And really, on a scale of bland to bizarre, were my cake pops any more weird than the fake limbs that became dislodged and landed in the audience during the show, or when a herd of zombies devoured a random audience member on stage, or when that same girl came back twice for more “weird” monster pops? Doubtful.

And yes, you could argue that the only frightening thing making an appearance here is the monster I turned into when a sassy teen insulted my cake pops, but really people, if we can’t muster respect for a cake pop, what hope do we have for the pending zombie apocalypse?

Ingredients:

  • 1 box red velvet cake mix (because you know…guts are red?)
  • 1 can frosting
  • 2 or 3 packages of candy melts (can be found at Michael’s)
  • Lollipop sticks
  • M&Ms, or other candies to decorate your monsters
  • Black frosting for piping faces

Directions:

1. Bake your cake according to the instructions on the box. Once it’s done, set it on a wire rack and let it cool to room temperature.

2. Crumble your cake in a large bowl, and add the frosting. Mix them together until their thoroughly combined.

3. Lightly grease a large, rimmed baking sheet. Grab a golf-ball-sized mound of cakey/frosting goodness, and mold it into a cylinder, or any other shape your monsters might take.

4. Set the molded monsters on the baking sheet, and pop them in the freezer for 30 minutes, or until their firm. You can use this time to gather your decorating supplies!

5. Once the cake balls/cylinders/monsters are firm, melt 2/3 of each package of candy melts in a microwave safe bowl according to the instructions on the package. Set the remaining 1/3 aside. Once they’re melted, dip one end of a lollipop stick into the candy melts, and insert that end 2/3 of the way through your cake shape.

6. Dip the cake on a stick in the candy melts, swirling, or using a spoon, to cover all the cake. Gently tap off the excess (very gently, or your pops might fall off!) into the bowl and poke the stick into a sheet of styrofoam to keep them upright as they dry.

7. As the cake pops dry, press M&Ms into the candy outside to form eyes. This is also the perfect time to add any additional decorations/appendages you like. As the candy shell dries, it will adhere your monster’s body parts to his/her body.

8. Once the cake pops are fully dry, put the reserved 1/3 of your candy melts into a snack sized plastic bag, and heat them in the microwave at 30 second intervals until melted. Snip the tip off one corner of the bag – the bigger the snip, the bigger/faster drizzle pattern you’ll get.

9. Drizzle swampy goo over your monsters. Set them back in the styrofoam to dry again, then pipe on faces using the black frosting, and a small piping tip.

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